This is so late but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It’s almost February, but we aren’t going to talk about that. 

2024 had such an odd beginning for me. I ended the longest relationship I’ve ever been in and broke up with the person I thought was gonna be my husband. 

After the breakup , God got really quiet on my end. 

I attended a small party at church and watched a very handsome man dance for an hour and realized that I need to love myself better. 

I started a 21 day fast with “Transformation Church”. 

I recovered from Covid which took me out for a solid week. 

And I’m now on a quest of self discovery and growth. 

Oh and Mr. Perfect just informed me that he didn’t realize that we broke up even though we haven’t spoken for over a month. 

I realize that because most of my life was riddled with depression, anxiety, and childhood trauma, I never truly got a chance to actually know Tamika. 

I always relied on others to help determine by own identity. And then I got in a relationship with someone that I felt was trying to change my identity and realized wait… I actually like who i am. I don’t need to change that. 

That was a big revelation for me. Have you ever experienced something like that? 

It blew my mind. And then I remember my mom telling me “Tamika, if you knew your own value and worth, you would have never allowed him to treat you like that.” That blew my mind and humbled my heart. 

Growing up in an abusive household, I promised myself that I would never get with a man that didn’t respect me. Little did I know that I would attract a very similar type of man my entire life. Different name, some personality. 

But after I spoke to my mom, that was when I realized that I need to learn how to love myself. 

I’m so good at loving other people. I’m great at supporting those around me and being the greatest friend to other people, but to myself I’m often unreliable and lazy. So when I get into romantic relationships, because I often ended up loving the other person so well and didn’t’ know how to love myself, I often allowed my partner to get away with almost anything. 

And I think God was finally trying to show me this by allowing me to be with Mr. Perfect.

So I’ll let 2024 be the year of me.

It’ll be the year of us!

Let this year be the year you love yourself the way God loves you so you can truly go out and love those around you. 

“1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing…13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®

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