I know about 45% of marriages end in divorce, but I can’t process it all. I probably should be writing about all the beautiful insights of my fast, but I can’t even think about all of that right now. 

Just makes you wonder if love is really real. 

Do people ever just stick together and love someone so much that they are willing to do and be better for themself and for that other person? Is the fairy tale real? Does anyone ever have a happy ending?

When things start to not make sense, I always try to find God in the chaos because the footsteps of a righteous man are ordered by the lord right? So if he’s allowing it to happen then you know it’s going to be good because he won’t keep anything good from us, right? 

Then I think about Mr. Perfect, who was not so perfect but truly thought that he was, and began to wonder why it didn’t work out. 

Maybe it was something I did wrong. Maybe it’s because I never saw a good relationship in my life. My parents who have been together for over 30 years can’t make it, so how can I do it? Maybe I’ll never find love or be able to keep a relationship. 

But I know that’s not true. God is good, but life isn’t always fair. And sometimes people make mistakes and that’s okay, right? 

You know, sometimes I find myself catastrophizing and every bad thing is the beginning of the end. It’s the end of my future, it's the end of the good work I’ve been doing, it’s the end of all the plans. Every bad thing is the beginning of the end.

But then I have to remind myself that it’s not over until it’s over. I guess that in itself is a biblical principle, right? The bible talks about how Abraham and his sons died in hope, never receiving the promise that God gave them. 

That’s the kind of faith that we need to have in life. Abraham became the father of faith. He never allowed time or even death to affect his faith. His faith was so strong and evident that he was able to pass it down to his sons. And they also died in faith. The crazy thing is that it took generations for the promise of God to be manifest. 

Imagine knowing that your grandparents died in hope and even though they never received what they had been hoping for, they still held onto that hope. Imagine their faith being so strong that it resulted in you believing what they were hoping for, that even though you watched your dad die hoping for that same thing, you still keep believing. That’s the kind of faith I’m looking to have in life. 

So even if things don't work out with my parents. Even if all that bad things continue to build up in my life and it feels like all is lost, I’ll hold on to the promises of God because his word never fails.