Love is a lie. 

I'm kidding. What did you think I was entering my Villian arc? 2023 was a crazy year. I learned so much. 

I grew so much. 

If I think back to just a year ago, I am not the same person I used to be. God has done so much in my life and has restored me in a way I didn't even know was possible. 

I'm hoping by now you've heard about Mr. Perfect. (He was not, in fact, perfect.) I will admit, I kind of just got mad one day and broke up with him. 

It was impulsive, stupid, and I can't believe I waited so long to do it.

When I tell you a weight lifted off of me the moment I ended things, I mean a weight lifted off of me. I didn't know that I could be so light.

I didn't realize that the sun was so bright and that the air could be so fresh. I really dodged a bullet by leaving that man. I tell you; hindsight is 20/20.

The first three months of us talking went blissfully well. I felt blessed to have him in my life. He was everything I didn’t know that I wanted. I was happy. While there were some things we would have to work on, I was sure with time that things would only get better.

He was ambitious, disciplined, willing to take initiative, dedicated to improving himself, sweet, and he was all mine. 

But then we would get into these arguments that seemed to continue for days. Weeks. Months. There never seemed to be a solution. We would just argue and then nothing would happen. 

And then when I would make certain complaints, I noticed that in a few weeks or so my complaints would be his complaints. Now at first I was like, wow I'm glad we are on the same page. I'm glad that we both don't like the same things.

But the complaints would always turn back to me and what I needed to change. What I needed to fix. 

I would see my fault and offer to fix it, but then once I offered to fix it, that posture was never reciprocated. He would often say okay and here is something else you need to fix. And I would be forever changing and growing, but I soon realized that hey I’m no longer doing what you don’t like, but you’re still doing things I don’t like. 

One night I started to have a panic attack because of all the arguing and at the end of the night, I was comforting him because he couldn't believe he made me so upset. 

At the time, I didn't think much of it but looking back now, the prospect is wild. It all happened so slowly and naturally that I couldn’t even see what was happening. Until I lost it and just ended the relationship that night.

And you know what he said to me once I broke things off? He just asked me that I don't embarrass him in public and that was it. 

That's when I realized that I really didn't lose anything by ending that relationship. I learned a lot about myself. 

I learned that my needs matter.

I learned that I deserved to be loved in the way I was willing to give love.

I learned that God is love and thus we should be aligned with people that are like him. 

I learned that consistency is key and talk is cheap. 

And I learned that even when things don’t make sense, there’s always sense in the nonsense.